Table Talk

How do you take up space at the table? Are you someone who gravitates to the centre of attention, or do you hang out at the margins and listen? Are you looking out for the newcomer, or do you prefer sitting next to people you know? Some of us are introverts, some are extroverts. Some of us have social anxiety, some of us are social animals. While we are different from each other, we all navigate the social dynamics at dinner parties. 

What about when you are the host? When planning a dinner party, whom do you include? Do you stick to your tried and true group of family and friends, or do you include newcomers? And more importantly than all of these questions, why are you drawn to these particular choices?

In today’s passage, Luke 14:1,7-14, Jesus was invited over to a Pharisee’s house for dinner. The men were religious leaders, accustomed to taking up space in the centre, entitled to status and power. Jesus noticed how they vied for the seats of honour at the table. Jesus did not keep the peace by pretending this wasn’t happening. Instead, he brought their behaviour out in the open, addressing it through a parable about a wedding feast: When you go to a wedding and you choose the best seat, your host might move you down. If you choose the humblest seat, your host will move you up. Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

Jesus also noticed that the party was primarily made up of friends, relations, and rich neighbours of the host. He turned to the host, “Look, next time you throw a dinner party how about mixing up your guest list a bit? Instead of inviting these people from whom you can get something back, how about inviting folk who can’t do you any favours—the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind?” Ouch, imagine someone coming to your house and confronting you like that at the beginning of a dinner party you were throwing! 

Again, what’s your behaviour like at the dinner table? Do you gravitate to important people, the best seat, the best cut of meat? How do you engage in table conversation? Do you fill the space with your stories? Do you listen and ask questions to draw people out? Do you take the risk of being vulnerable? Do you withhold your own stories out of fear of taking up space? 

Memorable meals have a lovely flow to them. People feel safe enough to engage and share as they feel comfortable, but no one feels the need to dominate. Newcomers and youngsters feel welcomed and included, and old timers are secure enough to sit back and let them shine. Differences in social status are downplayed, and common ground is found and celebrated. People listen and talk, ask questions and offer up insights and stories. When no one needs to be the most important, and everyone gets to matter and be important, we are truly sitting at Love’s Table. 

Jesus is committed to our growth. He wants us to be able to build longer, warmer, and equitable tables. In this passage, he is gently challenging the way we show up in groups. How have you learned to take up space in your life? Do you feel safest by being important? Do you feel safest by hiding, holding back? When we are self aware of how we show up in groups, we can practice showing up a little differently, see what that feels like in our bodies, and notice how that changes our experience of being at tables. We can grow. 

Deep peace and blessing,
Anne

Rev. Anne Baxter Smith
Pastor, Southpoint Church

New to Southpoint?

At Southpoint, it all begins with God’s love. Just as a plant grows, it receives sunshine, so we grow as we receive God’s love. At Southpoint, we are growing in our capacity to love God, ourselves, one another, and Creation.

We seek to be a community of grace that is intentional yet organic, spacious yet authentic, grace-filled yet accountable. * We are fully welcoming. *

We encourage relationships rather than run programs, yet we recognize the importance of intentionality and structure as we nurture life together.

As a community, we seek to put our love in action. We value helping out on Sunday mornings, sharing food, and showing up in hard times. We keep our church life simple so folk have time to build relationships with family, friends, and neighbours. We encourage folk to serve in tangible ways within the wider community. We rent space rather than own a building, allowing us to do more with less, supporting missions at home and abroad.

Curious to know more?

These six slides express what motivates our ministry (best viewed on a monitor). Here’s the bio of our Pastor, Rev. Anne Baxter Smith.

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